Yes, I do

I haven’t been to many Bangladeshi weddings yet, my guess is two or three “original ones”. During my stay here, my cousin from Comilla got married a month ago, in March. I’ve got lots of cousins and she is the youngest of all female cousins. The whole family comes together on these special occasions.

There was a three day weekend in March, when the wedding took place. A Bangladeshi wedding usually takes four days or more, depends on how much you want to celebrate. I attended three days. After work, I met with my uncle, and we took the bus to Comilla. It was quite comfortable, since tickets were only sold according to seats and the seats and the space were sufficient. It took us a little more than two hours. Not much, but still ridiculous when the distance is supposed to be less than 100 km.

When we arrived, everything was decorated. The whole walkway outside was covered in neon green lights. A gate with colorful cloth was made at the entrance to symbolize, that there’s a wedding.

The day I arrived in Comilla was the “gaye holud” of my cousin. The two rituals performed before the actual wedding are the “gaye holud” of the bride and the groom. Before the wedding, bride and groom stay at their own houses separately. The “gaye holud” can be compared to “henna evenings” in Turkish weddings. It is a festivity to prepare for the actual day, decorating the bride’s hands and feet with henna, and the guests apply a turmeric paste, “holud”, to the bride’s face. This is supposed to soften her skin and give it a healthy color. The groom’s family arrives with gifts and the whole wedding outfit. The groom’s “gaye holud” is the same, except for the henna tattoos ;).

The wedding itself takes place on the next day at the bride’s house on invitation of the bride’s family. The groom arrives and first is prevented entrance. This is a kind of game for the younger family members, who let the groom enter after getting a small allowance. So there is a huge discussion back and forth of the two parties about the amount. It is quite fun to watch and my nieces and nephews were enjoying it.

The whole wedding takes place after the festivity – mainly after eating (usually lunch). So basically when you attend a wedding and have eaten, you can leave, before the couple actually got married.

If you’ve ever watched bollywood movies, you know that the bride has to look really sad, because she is leaving her “home” behind to join a new family. I was taking lots of pictures and giving my cousin a really hard time. She was trying to look all sad and when I was making fun, she had to laugh. Then I cracked more jokes and told her that she is not supposed to laugh but that I’m seeing her smile, so she had to laugh even harder.

After the wedding, the formal part is over. The following day is the invitation of the groom, since the bride’s side, us, arranged the wedding festivities. The day after, we were invited at the groom’s house, which was a lot more relaxing.

I had a great time. Basically my male cousins and I hung out all the time together. We are a crew of 5 to 9 guys when we get together, all around the same age and constantly making fun of each other. On the way back from the groom’s house, our microbus wouldn’t start. So we sent everyone home with the other cars, got some drinks, listened to music and hung out in the night on the back of a pickup truck that came to fix the microbus. We got home an hour later. And a little later that night I met someone, who is somehow connected to my past, before I was born. But I’ll save that beautiful story for later.

Bus fare from Dhaka to Comilla (or the other way): 110 Taka.