Things my cousin says

Ladies and gentlemen, meet again my cousin brother Jarrar. Now two and a half years later, he is turning four years old in December.

Jarrar (middle) together with Taslima and Meem in Shahpur

I did not think that Jarrar could get any smarter, but he did. He corrects my Bangla every now and then, wants to eat an egg and cheese sandwich exactly when I am eating one and has his kind ways to blackmail me. Jarrar is at that stage now, where he questions authority, gives you “no” for an answer and sticks chewing gum in his hair. The fun parts are his sayings, when he cracks me up but I have to remain calm and act like I am taking his seriously. These are the highlights so far:

 

“Smell my hands! I washed them with soap!”

"Look! I can drink Sprite!"

"Why don't you let me watch Cartoons?" after his TV marathon of three hours

"I don't wanna wear pants!"

"Once, someone kicked me out of bed. Then ghosts came, bit me and ate all my hair. And then I went to the store and got new hair."

"Can I touch your chips?" meaning "Can I eat your chips?"

"Tewing Gum."

"I didn't throw water on the sofa. It was the ghost!"

"Pease, pease, peeease!"

Hole is Hole

I am working for a German company in consumer goods. And I have this lovely colleague from Thailand, who is an inspector in Quality Control.

So as I have not seen many factories from the inside, yet, I asked her a bunch of questions about productions processes, inspections, techniques and stuff. Since I know Bangladesh a little better after my last stay, I was curious, whether factory owners tried to bribe her or not. She said that this has never happened, but of course they always try to downplay minor mistakes on garments to pass the inspection.

So she told me this fun story about an incident she once had. She was checking garments during an inspection and found holes on the inside of an item. As they were not seen when wearing it and it didn’t have any effect on the overall product, they still were mistakes for quality standards but the factory manager tried to argue his way out of it. Instead of arguing, my colleague just pointed at the hole and asked him to spell what he saw. So he did. As tough and funny as she is, she kindly replied “exactly, hole is hole” and the matter was off the table.

Aunties

"What do you want to eat?"
"Nothing."
"You should eat something!"

"Are you cold?"
"No."
"Wait, I'll get you a blanket."

"When you came to Bangladesh you looked all pretty. And now the sun has made you this dark."

"This weather must be hot for you!"
"We have similar temperatures at times in the summer in Germany."
"Exactly. You come from a country where it is really cold. All this ice..."

"Come to visit me. You neeever come to my house."

"What do you want to eat?"
"Nothing."
"What should I prepare for you?"

"Are you hot?"
"No."
"You should go sit under the fan?"

"How were you able to sleep on this little space?"
"This is a double-bed."

"I am never able to cook you anything. What do you want to eat?"

"You all are so bad. Don't ruin your cousin!"
"See auntie, they mess me up with all their baaad influence."

"When are you coming to Bangladesh again?"
"I've just been here for six months."
"Are you coming back this year?"

"You didn't eat anything at all!"
"I ate a lot at your house, auntie. See: my belt doesn't even fit anymore."
"You look so skinny. What is your father going to say?!"

Rickshaw Art - 400 Taka discount

A week and a half ago, five friends and I went to have a tour through Old Dhaka (pictures will follow). The trip was great, we've seen loads of things and realized, that shops are closed on Fridays. Not all of them remain closed, but as we were on the hunt for Rickshaw Art, we were eagerly looking for theses special stores who keep these special items. Since it was the second time for some of us to come to Old Dhaka, Rickshaw Art was definitely on people's shopping list.

Bangsal Road in Old Dhaka is a great place to get an exceptional souvenir, that reflects the hectic, noisy yet colorful and special way of life in Dhaka. Rickshaw Art, painted either on PVC or tin, is fairly cheap and a unique gift, since it is hand-painted.

After checking almost every open store in Bangsal Road, we were somehow forced to move on unsuccessfully and end our hunt. While managing to arrange Rickshaw's for our next stop "Lalbagh Fort", this one shopowner approached one of us and told us that he'd open his store especially for us. Apparently word of mouth let people know that five white and a brown kid were looking for an exceptional souvenir to take home.

After picking the colorful paintings of our choice came the fun part: bargaining. With a very special (tourist)price of 650 Taka only per piece, the salesman wanted to rip us off with a big smile on his face. He had one advantage: he was the only one selling Rickshaw Art that day. Me talking Bangla to him, explained him, that these white people would bring him more customers and that he should lower the price. I promised him I would convince them to accept his offer. However, as sneaky as I am, I told my friends in German, that he was going to give them an offer that they had to reject and told them a lower price they should stick with. At the end of this fun game, we ended up at I think 250 Taka per painting. Yet fewer paintings can now be seen in Dhaka attached to the back of a Rickshaw riding through Dhaka, but hopefully soon as decoration in European appartments.

My souvenir

Ironically enough, those 15 Taka days are not over

I think I already mentionend, that sometimes you are at war with Rickshaw drivers, when it comes to negotiating the fare - not only with them, but also CNG drivers. For example, after looking for options for 15 minutes how to get to our meeting at Grameenphone headquarters in Bashundara, we finally took a Rickshaw, which cost us 20 Taka. Asking a CNG before, he demanded 500 Taka straight away.

Anyways, this morning I was kind of tired of arguing with Rickshaw drivers even before I reached the place where my uncle drops me off and I take the Rickshaw to work. So I was waiting at the corner and a Rickshaw came, which I approached. I told him I wanted to go to Gulshan 2 and asked for the price. He said "20 Taka", whereupon I replied "15 Taka". He said "Brother, those 15 Taka days are over!" I was in a mood, where I would have paid the next Rickshaw driver any amount he demanded. So the next one came and I told him where I wanted to go. Ironically enough, he suggested 15 Taka. I hopped on and had a little smirk on my face...

Bargaining for five Takas is not my main occupation. At times, it is more a matter of principle. Because Rickshaw drivers always demand more in the morning and in the evening, when people go to or come from work. And there is literally no traffic, since I go through residential area.

Eventually, those 15 Taka days are not over.




Rickshaw drivers in Old Dhaka waiting for customers

  
Rickshaw fare from Gulshan-1 to Gulshan-2: 15 Taka.

Blah blah blah

"Torko" is fun - 95% of the time it is not. "Torko" basically is a bengali habit that you mostly have to deal with, when you are out shopping. Why? Because it is all about the money!

To understand this, I have to explain "Torko" to you. "Torko" is the unnecessary discussion, a waste of time. For example, I went to buy a dress shirt for work. It fit perfectly, except that my hands wouldn't fit without unbuttoning the sleeves. What was the salesman's comment? They will stretch after I wash the shirt. And what would have been the comment if everything was too loose? Right – that they will shrink after washing it and therefore will fit perfectly anyhow.

“Torko” can be annoying, like arguing over and over, when you know you are right; when you have bought something and go to buy it again and the price all of a sudden has risen. And then the salesman explains to you, that the price has always been that high, that you are wrong and maybe even laughs at you. “This stupid boy really thinks that people sell this for 150 Taka, haha. Come on, it’s 210 Taka. Everybody knows it!”

And “Torko” can be annoying when dealing with Rickshaws. I at least take the Rickshaw once a day, from Gulshan-1 to Gulshan-2 through residential area. In the morning and in the evenings, during rush hour, prices all of a sudden rise. Not because there is more traffic, because people need to go to office and back home quickly. So then of course the least Rickshaw Wallahs are willing to go for the regular price.

But “Torko” can be fun – 5% of the time. I went to buy a bag and a backpack the other day. Mostly, when you have a store specialized on selling bags, you have at least three of four more around it. So competition is high. I checked every store for the price of the things I liked and found out the lowest prices. Then this one salesman wanted to sell me his bags desperately and offered the lowest price, like the others. We argued, although I knew no one else was willing to go lower – “Torko”. I paid him 5 Taka less, which is only five cents, but the arguing and reaching that agreement was fun, when the total charge was 15.500 Taka. At least I can enjoy “Torko” every now and then...

Fun Fact: Bangladeshis like "Torko".